There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
