so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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