This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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