You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
