If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize