nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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