i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
