I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
