Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
