Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
