Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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