HIV tests are more positive than that guy
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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