found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
