We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
