i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
