Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
