Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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