You work out of a Hotel?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize