He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
