You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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