U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
