Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
