I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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