ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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