I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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