her vagine was all disorganized.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
