i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
