I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
