I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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