Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My boob is missing a layer of skin
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
