we're blogging at a bar
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
