My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
