Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
