i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
a search helicopter?!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
