This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
