I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
