Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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