At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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