i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
