no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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