Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
