u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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