Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
