why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
