Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
