carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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