are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
