i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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