haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
