Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
