We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
