remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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