I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
