two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
