I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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