he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He shit in the fireplace
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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