Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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