She's JV to your varsity
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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