Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
