thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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