Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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