Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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