I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
