im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
