a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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