you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
