best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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