tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
