please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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