ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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