I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
