What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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