i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
