i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize