Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
