I heard we made out
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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