Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
