haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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