I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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